Monday 20 January 2014

Anger

Anger runs in my family. Repressed emotions fly out like steam from a kettle. I do not know anyone who has not felt anger at one point of his/her life.

It is a tremendous feeling, if observed and not acted upon. I am angry right now. The reason is not important. The fact that i can view it from a third person view is amazing. I can feel it burning through the insides of me. I decided to write because unexpressed emotions tend to make me low, and i do not want to be low.

It is like this beast sitting inside of me trying to pounce at anything. What is the best way to let go this anger ? Does it not have to be expressed in some form or the other ? Or does it need to be replaced. As i am typing, i am trying to smile and take deep breaths, hoping it will help. Writing is helping. But, that too is expression right ? But it is a positive expression - it is an analysis, a study and not a reaction.

To be so intensely aware of anger - it is so true that anger is represented by fire, by something loud - because my insides are on fire and I feel like the only way to get rid of it is by doing something loud. Instead, i am able to contain myself to my quilt.

It is not entirely impossible for people to do unbelievable things in anger - it is powerful. Lust fuels longing and listlessness, anger fuels fire and urgent need for action.

It is a remarkable experience I am having with my anger. But I have had enough now. I will try and dim the cause, which is a television glaring with current politics discussion. :)

Sunday 12 January 2014

Frozen and Scared

Stuck in snow, in sand, in marsh :
marshmallows are over, sorry. 


frozen and scared:
cold meat in cold basement.

Whats there in your basement ?
Enough firewood to see it through ?

frozen and scared:
Look back - but to what ?


Whats there inside of you ?
Stripper - strip it out. 


frozen and scared:
like peas in poly bags.

What screams within -
Death ? Death ? Death ?

frozen and scared:
That's how the dead lie.



Nothing to look back to.
a dream to march to.
tears to shed and sweat to burn
you have no time to lay
frozen and scared.

Cry now, child. 
Let it go.

Life Through A Smoke Screen

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